Bklyn Bite

Bklyn Bite

by Pat Obermeier
Dodging the mystery water regularly puddled beyond the turnstile, I step between the pillar and the edge of the subway platform. Across the tracks, a tall blond, clothed only in stained boxers despite the 45-degree subterranean damp, enthusiastically massages his crotch. Despite my repugnance, we make eye contact. My morning wake-up has begun.

He winks.

I resist the urge to throw him the bird and relocate to the scruffy white tile wall and study the posters. Next to an announcement for yet another upcoming service disruption on the F line is an ad for a film involving a terror plot to blow up the subways in Manhattan. Thank you Hollywood. A subway car with the recognizable orange circle and big white F in the center is prominently featured. Perfect product placement for Smith Street. The shiny poster reflects my image in one of the car’s windows. I’m now an extra in the movie. Intentional? Props to the designer even though it makes me uneasy.

Slouching down, I make the R-Rating logo appear across my chest.

Breaking a self-imposed rule about not flashing an iPhone in questionable locations, I take a selfie with the poster. See? I’m not scared the White House upped the threat level this morning. This terror train is going nowhere.

I quickly Instagram the pic and get on the next train.

And look under the seats.

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Pat Obermeier
Pat Obermeier is the author of the political satire, The President Factor, The Reality Show That Rocked a Nation and a four time Emmy award-winning creative writer and producer who worked in the TV industry in New York City for close to 20 years. She just came off a stint writing a political satire column for the website, Political Storm. She is known for her out-of-the-box, humorous, off-center approach to projects. Her writing has appeared in The Buffalo News and Right Here, Right Now, the Buffalo Anthology.

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